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When the rains die down, I suspect, on that date and beyond, I'll be doing quite a bit of walking because I want to be outside - I mean, it is Arizona - but I don't want to just sit still and give my brain a chance to talk me out of it.
I'm not thinking about the typical quitter topics, like how much money I'll save, how much better I'll feel, etc. Distraction is KEY. Thinking about the actual deed (smoking) is NOT the key. In fact, I want to think about it as little as possible.
I've got new yarn, new yarn accessories, and new drawing tablets. I've got a list of projects to do around the house, like FINISH moving in - some 6.5 months later, find some classes or stuff to do outside the house, etc.
I'm not deluded. I realize full well that I can't erase decades of damage or addiction just through "manifestation," but I can change my mindset, and I can think DIFFERENT thoughts. At some point in life, you just have to get over being afraid. Fear has its place, like when spelunking through a deep dark cave, or wading through a rainforest jungle, but here, and now, fear shouldn't drive the bus.
I also have to work on my responses to other people. What they do should not be allowed to push me to a point of failure. That, or if something sets me off, I have to do something different to deal with the feels.
It's scary, and it feels weird to know that I won't be falling back on the smoke sticks, but at the same time, it's kind of exciting.
For so long, I've just BEEN this. Now, I get to BE whatever I want with nothing and no one standing in my way.
Today, I meet with the gym guy to set up a training plan. Monday, I meet with a therapist to get some help in advance of the day.
I'm doing things I never did previously, and planning in a much healthier way.
I have a feeling this time it's going to stick.
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