Nobody's Coming

 

True words ...

Biggest life lesson ever. Really. No one is coming. No matter how long you wait for someone else to swoop in and solve your problems. No matter how much you wish someone else could handle your bullshit. 

No One Is Coming. 

If you were raised in a "religious" household, maybe you were taught that God takes care of everything. Just believe. I call bullshit. Because they also say, "The Lord helps those who HELP THEMSELVES ..." 

Which then ties into my most favorite quote ever: 

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." (Author argued and therefore not known) 

I never would have known about those words if not for artist Margot Lovinger, who created all of Claire's artwork in Six Feet Under. 

The other thing to learn, commonly in the hardest way possible: 

There. Will. Always. Be. "Triggers." 

In other words, LIFE HAPPENS. 

Deal with it. No matter how much we try to act like we can control all those "triggers," we cannot. The ONLY THING we can control is ourselves, our choices, and our responses. 

Only yesterday, life taught me this shit again. Sometimes, I need multiple reminders before I really get something. 

Today, I am done with: 

• Waiting 
• Carrying anyone else's load 
• Walking on eggshells
• Trying to fix anyone but myself
• Making excuses 

The bills don't pay themselves. The money doesn't get made if I don't do my job. I can't afford a total body transplant. I can't just sit and wait on anyone else to decide to do what they need to do. When something needs done, I'm just doing it. Throwing caution and fuckery to the wind. 

Today, I recognized that I need to care for me. 

Today, and yesterday, and a few times in the past week, I did some things to take care of me. 

Today, I saw myself and didn't look away.

If you call me, and I miss your call and call you back within 60 seconds, and you don't answer, I don't care. If you say we'll do something together that needs to be done, and you ignore it the entire weekend, I don't care. If you get stressed out in a public place, I will not allow your stress to stress me out. If you have better things to do, do them. I won't wait. None of that means I don't love you. It means that I have to take care of me. 

Nobody is coming. Hence, it's up to me to get to where I want to be.